I pray to Allah grant you patience and courage in dealing with your situation. I also pray that Allah inspires your daughter to make wise choices that are at once right and pleasing to Allah and her parents--aameen.

Now coming to the issue of dealing with such a sad situation, let me point out to you certain facts based on my own personal experiences in dealing with similar situations:

Such trials are far too common in this country; every parent has to deal with similar situations one time or another in life. This, however, is not meant to diminish the agony or pain it causes the parents. Often times it leads to soul searching. In other words, when faced with situations like these, some parents may also wonder whether it was worth moving into this country. Anyhow, such questions and concerns, however, must never lead us to take any drastic steps. We are better advised to console ourselves by the thought that it could have been worse: We can learn from the example of Umar b. al-Khattab, the second caliph, who said, “Whenever I face a calamity or unavoidable predicament, I would console myself by dwelling on three points: 1. That my faith is unshaken; 2; it could have been worse, but it was not; 3; the reward would be greater if I were to persevere in patience.

So I advise both of you to persevere in patience and turn to Allah for consolation.

While persevering in patience, we must also never go as far as cutting off or boycotting our children for the mistakes or the rebellious behavior they display. Boycotting in Islam is permissible only when it has a beneficial impact of putting pressure on the person to return to the fold. That may or may not be the case in a predominantly non-Muslim society where it would drive them to the opposite direction.

So the best policy that you can adopt as parents is to let your daughter know that although you do not approve of her action, you do still love her, and wish her the best. You should also leave the door open for her to return if she so wishes. In this way she has better chance of learning from her mistakes and making right decisions.

Moreover, as parents while wishing the best for our children, we must also know that once they become adults, they have a right to choose and they bear responsibility for their own personal choices. We can only pray that they make the right choices. This is a lesson many parents have learnt the hard way.

In conclusion: The wisest thing for you as parents in dealing with your daughter in this case is to continue to establish good relations with her, even though you may dislike her action.  Boycotting her is akin to burning the bridge, which may only have a far more disastrous effect. Finally, never stop praying to Allah to guide your daughter to inspire her to do and act rightly-aameen.